Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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