i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
