can we get nightvision for the apartment?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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