You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
