Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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