Sry I called you an 8
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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