its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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