Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
