Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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