No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
