6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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