Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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