Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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