Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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