Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
