I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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