I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
