How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
