It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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