clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
