Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We talked him into tasing himself.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
