Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How's work?
Spinning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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