just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize