we're blogging at a bar
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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