Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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