Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
