We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
