I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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