I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
