I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
