He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize