They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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