There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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