Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The power of my boobs compel you
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Please don't give away my fajitas
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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