We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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