White coat. Heels.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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