Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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