What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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