these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
