New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
