I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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