Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
