you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
