butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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