How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
