She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
