Jerry, you need to find god
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
