are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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