Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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