Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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