his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
