My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
