i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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