We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
