yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
