Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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