I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize