I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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