Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dick very happy bro
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
