I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
