hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't deserve a penis
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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